MY PERSONAL KINAH ON TISHA B’AV
BY ARIELLA BRACHA
Oh! Oh! How much deep psychic pain I feel at the indignities visited on my Beloved Holy Temple and my nation and my Holy land.
How much cruelty and suffering was inflicted on both the bodies and soul consciousness of this beautiful, Divinely chosen nation that bears G-d’s name.
And where was I, all the years when I didn’t know of Tisha B’Av? Didn’t know of Beit HaMikdash? Didn’t know of Eretz HaKodesh….our precious Holy Land? And even more sadly, I didn’t know of our purpose as a nation. What was I doing that was so IMPORTANT?
Alas, I had forgotten about spiritual strivings. I had forgotten what is truly worthwhile and praiseworthy in my life as a Jew.
I literally forgot my name; Jewish woman, chosen of G-d, Woman of Valor! Foundation of the Jewish home!
I was seeking glory in transient and inconsequential matters.
I was safe and content in my trappings of comfort and style.
I was secure in my pay check and patterns of existence….why rock the boat of superficial happiness?
And all that time, G-d and the Jewish nation and the Holy Land were calling to me and I COULDN’T HEAR. How Sad is that?
I scream out!!!! I swear I didn’t know the truth…no one ever told me!
I didn’t know the truth; Can you imagine? I was robbed of my identity and stuffed full of lies and acquisitions like jewelry and titles and fancy clothes and all the things which are somehow supposed to fill the empty place in my being called SOUL !
Skewed values jammed my spiritual receiver! I bought the lies because I was honestly afraid of Truth……afraid of conflict….afraid of being the REAL ME….that soul spirit, wonder woman of my inner dreams who possessed great wisdom and light. Maybe I thought she was just a dream….not really real…..I didn’t know for sure….so I hid from her…played hide and seek! I was A GREAT PRETENDER!
I was completely out of touch with the scope of my virtual, limitless spiritual capacity to suffuse the world with my soul light. I weep from the destruction because NOW I know that I am needed by my nation. I weep soulful sobs of discontentment and heartache that in not knowing the truth…..and not becoming a truth seeker, I have perpetuated the destruction of our nation who bears the name of G-d! BY not claiming and cleaving to my identity as a Jewish woman, I had dimmed my light…weakened my soul essence and strength…diluted it with waters of superficiality. AND FOR WHAT?
But alas, like the redemption the Jewish nation holds onto and dreams of and awaits with all its might; somehow a miracle of epic dimension occurred and my own personal redemption came into being. Somehow that hidden spark called the Pintele Yid was ignited and my soul radar was alerted and received the signal. Once the signal connected to the inner receiver, my soul came to life. And for this I cry….buckets of tears of gratitude!
AND THEN WHEN THE CALL OF FREEDOM WAS HEARD IN THE DEPTHS OF MY SOUL, I GAVE MY SOUL PERMISSION TO FLY HOME! HOME TO THE HOLY LAND. HOME TO ITS NEST AND ALLOW IT TO BUILD AND GIVE BIRTH TO ITS POTENTIAL AND SOAR AND SING ITS SONG.
And for this I cry, because my soul sees that so many of our beloved Jewish nation are missing; so many souls are confused and wandering in foreign lands; not knowing the truth of their purpose and destiny.
But I know the truth I say to each of you. I was lost but now I am found and I am home and THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HOME! THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME! You are one of a Kind and there is no one like you to do YOUR part. PLEASE HELP STOP THE DESTRUCTION! IT IS TOO DEVASTATING.
COME HOME AND HELP REBUILD; YOURSELF AND THE LAND SO WE CAN PUT AN END TO Tisha B’AV AND STOP LAMENTING!
You’ve written a beautiful and moving blog! I was touched when you wrote (among other things!)
“…that soul spirit, wonder woman of my inner dreams who possessed great wisdom and light. Maybe I thought she was just a dream….not really real….”
May your soul spirit soar o’ wonder woman of your dreams! And welcome to Israel!